Grey
by Floydgarmadork
Summary: The Green Ninja is... well... Green. Lloyd Garmadon, however, is Grey. (Takes place during season 10 right after Cole's fall.)


The sun had barely risen. Everything was covered in that muddy kind of tired morning grey. In a few hours the colours would start to appear again. In a few hours people would start to care. No one cared about grey. It didn't even matter though, cause no one was awake. Well except for Lloyd Garmadon.

The faint grey light almost covered the strong green colour of his hoodie, but he didn't even notice. No one cared about grey anyways.

He let his hand run over the wood of The Bounty's railing he was leaning against. If you saw him you'd assume that he was in deep thought. Oh how wrong you'd be. Lloyd thought of absolutely nothing and no one. Certainly not grey and even more certainly not himself. No one thought of either of those things, he was aware, and in a desperate attempt at, maybe, fitting in he'd made the decision that he wouldn't either. He'd either made the decision or maybe it had just come to him naturally. He didn't really pay that much thought either.

Thinking about nothing sounds like doing nothing, which doesn't sound like something that you could actually do and if you can't do something someone can't interrupt you, yet Kai managed to do just that as he laid a hand on Lloyd's shoulder. Lloyd jumped slightly at the touch, turning around to face him. "You alright kiddo?" Kai's hand laid heavy on his shoulder. Maybe that was what the weight of the world would feel like if it was a physical thing. Lloyd's mouth was dry. He didn't really know what to answer and to be completely honest he didn't even want to answer.

He tried to think about it for a moment. Was he alright? Well yeah. He wasn't dead, so that would count for something, right? He couldn't quite find the answer to Kai's question. Thinking about nothing sure was easier. After a little while he decided to let autopilot take over and just give Kai what he needed to hear. Which wasn't a total lie, but it wasn't anywhere close to the truth either. "I'm fine." He was surprised at how believable it actually sounded. Quite impressive, really.

The words hang in the air for what felt like forever, but was probably only a second. However long it took, it was the time it took Kai to figure out how to reply. Lloyd would have to admit that he hadn't made it easy for him, but on the other hand he couldn't have made it any easier. It would be so easy for Kai to accept that as an answer, no matter if he believed it or not, and then just leave with a clean conscience. But of course Kai couldn't choose the easy way.

That usual worried expression that washed over Kai's face way too often for Lloyd's liking when they were talking had once again found it's way back. "What's wrong?" For some reason the question seemed very out of the blue. Sure, Lloyd had been asking himself the exact same for God knows how long, but someone else asking him somehow seemed out of place. Not that he hadn't gotten the question before, Kai had even been the one to ask it way more times than once before. Yet it somehow still surprised him. Probably mostly because he didn't really have the answer.

Kai squeeze his shoulder lightly and Lloyd realised that he'd been staring blankly at him for way too long for someone who was supposedly fine. God, Lloyd, answer him for the sake of the first spinjitzu master. Just answer him! "It should've been me." The wordst came out before he could even think them through. Before he even realised what he meant. But he knew what they meant. Everything started to get blurry. Why was everything so blurry? He had no idea

Another hand on his shoulder. Kai was squeezing both his shoulder even tighter all of a sudden. "Hey buddy, breathe. Just breathe. It's alright." What was he talking about? Of course Lloyd was breathing. He felt something wet fall down his cheek. He looked up, everything still had a weird blur to it. The world was nothing, but a grey blur. But it wasn't raining. Then it hit him that he was crying and as that realization hit him, he was hit with another realization. He couldn't breathe. Kai was still squeezing his shoulders, mumbling a blur comforting nothingness.

Lloyd leaned his head against Kai's chest letting the tears run. The whole picture kinda got muddy after that. Lloyd wasn't really sure when Kai had removed his one hand from Lloyd's shoulder and started to run it through his hair instead. Nor did he really know when he and Kai had ended up both leaning against the railing just looking down at the landscape that slowly passed by beneath The Bounty. He didn't know how long they had been there. All he knew was that at this point his chest hurt from crying so much.

Kai's hand was still on Lloyd's shoulder. In a way it was comforting, but whenever he thought about it it just gave him a sinking feeling. He couldn't help it. People weren't supposed to comfort someone they didn't care about. That was really a waste on their part. Yet Kai had at this point done it more times than Lloyd could count. "You don't have to tell me what's wrong, if you don't feel like it." Kai's voice was soft, but it had a faint undertone of worry. Lloyd would never understand how Kai managed to talk with so much care to someone he didn't care about, but maybe he just imagined that he was talking to Nya? Lloyd had at least hear Kai use that voice when speaking to Nya more than once.

The world had gotten a little more colourful at this point, but the grey shadow seemed to have decided to stay for the day. The light grey clouds hung low and Lloyd could probably touch them if he really wanted to, but of course he didn't. They were grey. Not pink. Lloyd just shrugged. How do you explain to someone who doesn't care that it bothers you that no one cares? He let out a quiet sigh, hoping that Kai didn't hear it.

"It should have been me." He repeated. This time the sentence left him with a weird feeling or well lack thereof. He felt numb. Which was really a contradiction. How can you say that you feel nothing. Isn't nothing something? Maybe not.

"What should've been you?" If someone has the choice to act like the feel however they want to feel in a situation where they talk with someone they don't care about then why would they choose to act worried. Lloyd would never get it. His grip around the railing tightened. He knew the answer, but why tell it to someone who wouldn't care whether he said it or not?

On the other hand he really needed to tell someone. And maybe if Kai knew that he wasn't fooling anyone, especially Lloyd, by acting like he cared he'd leave? "I should've been the one who fell into the darkness." It came out way more bitter than he had intended. Like he was genuinely pissed that he hadn't been the one to die. That wasn't exactly the signal he was trying to send, but who cares. Certainly not Kai, right? That shouldn't even be a question.

Kai's squeeze went from light and comforting to tight and… Lloyd couldn't really figure out what emotions Kai was trying to put into it. "Lloyd, that would've been horrible." If Lloyd felt numb, Kai's voice was the sound of that feeling. However Kai's voice wasn't empty of feelings, Lloyd just couldn't really pinpoint them. Maybe… Kai was being sarcastic? Lloyd didn't really get sarcasm most of the time.

Lloyd followed one of the grey clouds with his eyes. It wasn't any different from any of the others. Quite insignificant really. "Right." He felt empty. "Would've been tragic. Just as tragic as if that one cloud over there disappeared." He nodded in the direction of the grey cloud he'd been looking at. He turned his head slightly to cast a quick glare at Kai. Maybe he could get a clue as to what was running through his mind? He was caught off guard when he saw that Kai wasn't looking at the cloud or anywhere else. He was looking at Lloyd.

Lloyd quickly turned his head towards the clouds again. Trying to seem casual. As of he hadn't noticed at all. Kai's squeeze was tight. "You hopefully don't mean than." The sentence felt unfinished. As if Kai had wanted to say more, but he remained silent and so did Lloyd. He did feel like that, but he couldn't really see the problem in it. It wasn't like anyone would care anyway.

Lloyd drew circles with his fingers over the wooden railing, trying to ignore the sinking feeling the fake comfort left him with. Not the fake comfort Kai tried to give him, but the fake feeling of comfort he got from it. "You know, sometimes I feel like I'm a grey cloud." He smiled. It didn't reach his eyes. It wasn't something he wanted to tell anyone. Especially not anyone who didn't care. Well anyone and anyone who didn't care kinda blurred together since there weren't really anyone who cared, but that was a pretty irrelevant fact right now.

Kai swifted slightly beside him, but he was still squeezing Lloyd's shoulder. "How so?" Lloyd couldn't really see shy he should tell him. It wouldn't matter much to Kai anyways. The cloud was almost out of sight by now.

Lloyd gave out another sight. Trying to collect his thoughts. He had lost sight of the grey cloud. "Well, as I said. Me disappearing would be just as insignificant as when a grey cloud disappears. Or well, maybe insignificant isn't the right word to describe either thing… people's day would get… brighter, you know."

Kai almost squeezed so hard that it hurt, but it wasn't painful. His hand was shaking slightly on Lloyd's shoulder. Lloyd figured from all the force Kai put into the squeeze. "Lloyd…" Lloyd jumped a little at the way Kai spoke and he noticed that Kai's hand wasn't the only thing shaking. So was his voice. There was something about Kai's tone that made Lloyd want to just turn to him for comfort. More than just that way too tight squeeze on his shoulder, but he couldn't. Kai didn't care, so why should he turn to him?

Cole didn't care either, but Lloyd missed him, and he would've more than willingly taken his place at the end of that ladder. "It would've been better for everyone if it had been me. Then… then Cole would still." His voice broke and it took him a moment before he was able to speak again. "Then Cole would still… be here. Everyone would be okay and… and happy." Okay now the squeeze was definitely starting to hurt. Lloyd bit his lip, trying to act like he didn't notice Kai staring at him with some kind of expression Lloyd couldn't read.

"Lloyd how can you say that that wouldn't matter? That we'd be happy?!" Kai sounded almost angry. He finally released his grip on Lloyd's shoulder. "And that you aren't important? Kid, you're The Green Ninja, that's the definition of important." Lloyd felt his eyes starting to sting, but they stayed dry. He just stared at the landscape below them, trying to numb the feeling of loneliness washing over him at the disappearance of Kai's hand on his shoulder.

"I'm aware that people care about The Green Ninja," He mumbled. Drawing bigger circles with his fingers. "but I'm also aware, that when it comes to Lloyd Garmadon, no one cares." He turned to look at Kai. "You don't have to pretend." He smiled sadly before turning his attention to another grey cloud. "I said that I should've been the one who fell. Not The Green Ninja. No one would miss me, but you miss Cole… and so do I. " it wasn't fair really. Why did he stay here, but they had to loose Cole? Cole who was kind, likable. So much more than Lloyd had ever been and would ever be.

Kai just stared at him for what could've been forever before replacing hishand on Lloyd's shoulder and turning him towards himself. "We… kiddo, we would've missed you at least as much, you know?" Kai tried to catch Lloyd's eyes, but they were as glued to the ground. "Lloyd, there's no way I could've lost my little brother-" Kai's voice broke off into a sob. Lloyd's head jerked up. Was Kai crying? He… he was. He was either really good or… maybe he actually did care?

Lloyd looked at the boy he'd considered his big brother for what felt like forever. They could've been actually blood related and it wouldn't make much of a difference at this point. They were that close. But for some reason he'd been scared of admitting that lately. After everything with Harumi he had just… been scared to think that anyone cared. "Can I maybe get a hug?" Lloyd wasn't even sure if Kai had heard him, but his brother pulled him into a tight, safe, comforting embrace and Lloyd quickly melted into it, finally letting himself relax.

"We're gonna get Cole back, buddy. I promise."

Lloyd didn't say anything. He just nodded. They were gonna get Cole back. They were gonna be okay. Maybe people cared after all.


End file.
